Milestones…

If I had a personal mountain where I could put up a flag at each victory, at each achievement, at each milestone, I would put one up today.

Something went whacky and my son developed a hearing problem two months ago. It got so bad he couldn’t hear his dad calling his name more than a dozen time while sitting right beside him.

My son did not know a word of English. The first month at school and thereafter, I saw him sitting on a bench by himself. Alone. I was afraid loneliness would befriend him too.

He began mumbling and losing home language words too.

I had to shout at him. 10 times. Then when he would finally hear me and look at me, he would be horrified to see me so anxious and yelling at him.

Today, he has gotten better. He can hear a little better. And speak some more words.

Its God’s greatest blessing. The happy heart of a mother. A feeling you may tell everyone in your life, but no one can feel it like you do.

I saw him today at school. At home time. It felt elationd beyond cloud 9 to see my baby son talk to other kids. Kids that don’t look like him. Or speak like him. But they are now his friends. I feel a proud mama, walking home with my son, half a dozen kids waving him goodbye and yelling out his name. And him waving them bye!

It warms my heart, to finally see his teachers happy when he turns up to school in the morning. His cute goomoning to his teacher. And her big cute smile. Totally heartwarming.

Thank you God. For opening my eyes. For making me see the happiness around me. For noticing milestones. For overlooking things I don’t have. I thought I would die. I would die being ungrateful. I thought I would bleed out and die without having to bow my head on the ground.

Thank you God for letting me live. For saving me grace. For being merciful. For shining light upon me so I can see better.

Thank you God for making me a Phoenix. Thank you for letting me rise up each time, each time I kick myself off a mountain.

Advertisements

Unfixable

There’s a wrist watch in my house. It belongs to my hubby. Pretty cool watch. Digital and all.

Somehow someday, an alarm got set on it. It would ring everyday at around 9 am. Annoying time to ring.

We fidgeted around with it trying to shut it. The alarm.

We couldn’t. All we could is change the alarm time, somehow to a random 11:45 pm.

Thereafter we couldn’t do anything about it. No matter what button we pressed, neither the alarm time budged. Nor did the alarm shut.

So what did we do?

Learnt to live around the beep beep.

We race to bed each day. If we got to hear the alarm, we’re late to sleep.

If no alarm heard, perfect early night.

I guess some problems in life are as permanent as our wrist watch with an unfixable alarm. We need to learn to live around problems that cant be fixed by us.

Somehow they stop looking like problems. But milestones of progress….

Movie Review..”Secret Superstar”.

So for the past 6 months, I have watched a lot of movies and Dramas.

While some of them were really awesome and I really wanted to blog about some of them, nothing compelled me to write about as much as today’s movie did.

This world is such a facade. People give out so many opinions and sometimes the opinions sound so real and everyone believes in them. More than the actual thing.

There was a muslim girl band from Kashmir that was banned from singing. Those were girls in Hijab and were trying to sing. They were trying to break the norm and rules. But they were silenced.

A few months later, a movie was released titled Secret Superstar. This movie was distributed or I should say sensationalised in the lines of the Kashmir incident. The lead girl sings hidden in a Hijab.

False.

That is not even close to what the story is about.

I am a big fan of movies that star Amir Khan. That is because each of his movies has a strong impact on the viewers and they are not silly chummy romantic bandwagon. They are always laced with emotion and fragrant with a message.

Such is the secret superstar. It has everything to do with a Mother’s level of sacrifice and strength for her children. The wall of resilience and the window to the open skies.

This story has nothing to actually do about singing. Shallow is the public who thought this was about a girl not being allowed to sing so she sang secretly and then won the award.

This is about a mother who fought with the society to give birth to a girl child. A mother who withstood physical torture but protected her children from everything.

A mother who recognised her child’s abilities and nurtured them. Never let the cruel world stomp down on the dreams of her children.

The West may not understand. But to come from an Asian household where you are a girlchild, and you are talented, you would understand. You have take your dreams and make chutney out of it. You are supposed to study like a normal girl, no matter you top the class or win a medal or prize or anything. You study, then you marry, then you birth children, then you make them study, make them marry, grow old and die. The end. That’s an Asian girl’s life summarised.

Not every household is like that though. Take Sania Mirza for example. The gorgeous talented super duper Tennis star. Her parents saw her talent, her dreams and cheered her on.

Just like this girl Insiya in the movie. Her mother sells her only Gold Necklace to buy a laptop so her daughter can record her songs on youtube. Just so that the cruel barbarian dad doesn’t break her guitar because he thinks its just a wasteful teenage phase of his daughter where she should have been studying instead, her mother gives her the idea of a secret superstar.

Beyond all odds, she stands up for her daughter, realising that sometimes standing up for yourself and your dreams is very important because a human isn’t a machine and God doesn’t give ambitious dreams to everyone. Those who get this God gift, must know that they are chosen and they must follow it. Fight the world if you are convinced you are chosen. Fight the world if you know you can fly. Everyone laughed at Einstein and every other big guy and girl of this universe. But years later their hardwork paid off. We write essays on their work from school age and we dress up like them. Why?

Because they knew they had a dream, a talent. They protected it, they fought for it.

Salute to you Amir Khan. Extremely fine storyline, concept. Although your character in the movie was just a little breeze, the theme of the movie is a Blockbuster.

Mother.

The beginning of life. The first touch. The first face. The first voice. Everything is Mother.

It is not easy being a mother. Constantly feeling guilty that you aren’t good enough. The society holds the most special spices to sprinkle at a struggling mother. Still she never bends. Wiping her tears away, she will roll away at the kitchen, or type away in the office, or drive, or teach, or write or do anything. Anything she can so that her children are strong, they have everything and become someone great.

We need to love our mothers more. They aren’t wrong. They are just doing their utmost best.

Its not simply said that Paradise lies beneath the feet of the Mother.

It should be there. At the Mother’s feet.

Meri pyarii ammiii….

Nibah…My take on the series…

So why am I choosing to do another post on the Tv series Nibah. The previous post was the review or storyline. This is dedicated to what I found the most amazing about it.

I was taken by the acting of Amina Sheikh. A beautiful, resilient woman. The whole world hurtled boulders across her life. Yet she stood like a wall. Broken from the inside, yet strength in her words. Her head held high because she KNEW she was right. She knew that being RIGHT mattered only when it came to her Self Respect and the question of reputation and character. She knew rightly when to bend to mend the relationships. She knew to be silent, leaving fate / karma to act on her behalf.

mqdefault (1)

Nothing could break her righteousness. She forgave easily and embraced happiness like no other character in the story. She let the whole world crumble at her feet watching everything in silence, yet knowing that the last winner is the one who is always right and not the devious.

Her character brought a lot of calm to me. It made want to be like her. Strong and resilient among the storms of life. Nobody should be troubled the way she was. She questioned her fate, spoke of her troubles to the skies, and trusted in God with all her might.

hqdefault

The most well played out scene in the entire series which easily shattered my heart to billion pieces was just a scene of a few minutes. No words. Just the eyes connecting. Everything said in those emotions in the eyes of Shaheer and Sofia.

hqdefault-187.jpg

Just this one scene. Here Sofia has gone home with her father after being thoroughly disconnected with Shaheer due to his accusations. She has gone back to school. After feeling humiliated by the school Principal and her colleagues, she stood outside trying to catch a cab home. Shaheer comes by in his luxury suv to pick his kids from school. For a good minute he looks and connects with Sofia’s eyes. Just this look between them was shattering.

This look of love, of regret, of doubts, of betrayal….Shaheer displays sadness to see his still-wife in such simple clothes deprived of the luxury he could afford for her. He feels sadness to see her so far away from him. Then he overcomes with anger of betrayal and drives away in indifference. Meanwhile Sofia looks at him with an expression that spells out that of all the people in the world, she wanted only Him to know that she hadn’t betrayed him. That she loved him.

Sometimes the eyes know and the heart feels, its the brain that fuzzes up everything destroying a lot in the middle. True love connects. It definitely does connect and sees beyond beauty, beyond wealth, beyond age, beyond anything. It just recognizes the soul that needs to be around. It needs the aura to emanate and radiate to thrive. It needs to be needed. That’s love…the true one….

Little buds of happiness..

Little joys in life bloom like lovely flowers in a barren land.

Yesterday it was a big day for me. My pretty little daughter had her first stage performance of her life. She sang rhymes and songs at a concert with her fellow classmates in her school.

It was an overwhelming performance. I cried. I got emotional. I thank God. For this day.

My yearning brought forth fruits that I craved for. I wanted my daughter to study in a school that made her happy and gave her no homework. A school that brought out her talent and let her explore everything a child dreams of trying.

I am so happy for her. A proud parent among so many in that auditorium, my heart beamed with joy. God bless my little girl.

Eid 2018

So today is Eid. A lovely festival of happiness joy and so much excitement.

And here is what I made today.

The first picture is of SheerKhorma. A sweet dish made of milk, dried fruits, dates and vermicilli.

The second picture is of the ethnic Hyderabadi Meat Biryani accompanied by curd chutney.

It took years for me to master the biryani. Crisp criticism from my inlaws perfected the flavours and texture.

The sheerkhorma was my first trial today. Turned out yummy except that I fried the dried fruits a little browner than I should.

It was an amazing day today altogether. Spending time with my husband and kids elates me to the core. It wipes away everything and I start fresh.

I did some henne/mehendi on my hand too.

Oops. Looks like I deleted the pictures. I shall take better pictures of my henna as it darkens.

Nails…

I finally cut my daughter’s nails. After almost 3 years, she finally stopped chewing them. They finally grew and I could cut them.

It might seem so bane a though to be troubled by the little act of cutting nails.

But to me, a mother, it is a huge feat. When she was about one year and some months, I cut her nails (like I did every Friday since she was born) the night before I was admitted to deliver my son.

The next day I promptly left. She was shattered by my absence. I do not know what all my baby daughter felt and endured. But after 7 days, when she finally came back to me as I went home, she was constantly crying, a very rage filled child with so much stubborness, and she began eating her nails. Strangely, the nails of her feet stopped growing too. This remained all the while we were back in India.

Since we have come here, and she has begun school, she is back to being a calm, excited and a much more happy child.

My motherhood scored a whole point when I saw her nails growing neatly and I could finally cut them. Thank you Lord. Thank you for these favours upon me.