Very well said…
I passed by that bridge many a times. I always looked towards the sky and hoped so bad for a day to come so that we did not go down the exit and went ahead.
God answers all prayers when the time is right!
The day came two weeks back. I was supposed to be focused on that last ride, but I couldn’t because my handbag broke on its first use. What irony!
Things have sped up. I have moved. Away from the chaos to serenity.
There is a positive and negative side to everything.
A proverb I firmly believe in:
Har kisi ko sara jahaan nahi milta…
Kisi ko zameen toh kisi ko asmaan nahi milta…
(Everybody doesn’t get the whole world/everything)
(Some don’t get the sky, some the earth)
Likewise, I got what I yearned for. I should now focus on them. I wanted a good school for my children. They got one. My daughter even went to school for the first time and today was her first day!
I was able to go out independently to drop her and take my son to a park. All by myself!
I can cook and keep the kitchen neat and the way I want it!
I can pray and recite and do as much worship as I want and play it in my cellphone too!
I can breathe in the fresh the air, look at the lovely nature, the lovely trees and flowers, the beautiful houses and cars and landscapes!
I can finally smell! The nose I closed for years. I can now finally smell everything without holding my breath!
I can wear whatever I like and chose what not to wear!
This is a lot of things I yearned for and waited patiently.
God answers all the prayers when the time is right! Yes I believe!
While all the good befalls so do the dark sides of each situations. They may break my heart, snatch away my hopes, twist my feelings. But no, they can’t break me.
Because what was meant to kill me did not. It just made me patient. It made stronger. It made be resilient.
I wake up to a new day. Each day. Breathe in freshness. I have to be happy. I have to be content. I have to be focused.
I have dreams. If I get to live, I shall make each of my moments count.
I must learn to eject the hurting thoughts and feelings. I must chunk them out of my system. Its me for me.
Back then in lonelier times, I remember crying at myself, looking hopelessly in the bathroom and hating everything. The shower would drown my tears. I learnt to cry without a sound. Long ago. I remember hugging myself and telling me that I am there for me. Yes on this earth, only one is for one.
Expectations hurt. Every. Single. Time. Don’t expect, you don’t hurt at all. I learnt this long ago. Now I must re-learn that.
I have a set of goals to accomplish. Dreams to fulfill. To-do list to complete.
I have a lot to let out. A lot to pour away. A lot to read. I have things to do. I mustn’t despair.
My Lord watches over me, protects me and does things for me in ways I wouldn’t dream of.
I must welcome my mind, body and soul to this new land. I must let in all the goodness fill all the holes in me.
I must be there for me….