She hurt me. With her words. With her ill-omens for me. I looked like a rebel in her eyes. Me? A rebel? I am the biggest issue-solver by putting my head down and doing whatever I am told. I live an exciting life with simplicity. I have goals in my life. I dream big. Work hard. And rest as much as I need. But she feels the opposite about me? I tried not to care. But it is so hard to shut my ears from her constant loud grumbling about me. I try real hard to fit in fun and excitement and happiness in my life. I try to enjoy my motherhood. To me, she can’t see me happy and pretty. She fumes because no one treats me like the way she was treated. So what should I do?
She doesn’t like me. And she envies my mother. I don’t have time in a day to feel negative or to bring doen someone else. I don’t think bad about anyone except when they rub their disgust-filled stares in my face. She did this whole thing. This hurried selection. This hurried marriage. And she is the one lamenting about it. Why can’t she be happy? With herself? With the blessings around her?
I yearn for my mother. She lives so far away. I can’t go to her. If i could, then I would run to her and hug her tight. But all I can do is hug my hubby, and cry in my pillow when he falls asleep. It is a truly lonely world. More the people, more tge loneliness. I hate separation. I hate people who separate others even more. Love and poison can never live together…..never….